Past Prepared & Future Focused
Your future is for you to create.
I wanted to be a doctor. To be specific, I wanted to be a Pediatric Endocrinologist. Honestly this was my plan for as long as I can remember. I was defined by it, motivated by it, made decisions with this as my filter all because I knew that is what I was going to be in life.
The crazy thing is I am not alone in this. Perhaps I am the only 8 year old that wanted to specifically be a Pediatric Endocrinologist, true, but I was only one of every single kid ever that defines themselves by what they are GOING to do or what they are GOING to be. You see the light in their eyes, the excitement in their voice, and the confidence in their words. Their success in whatever it is they are dreaming of is inevitable in their eyes. I promise, you were the same.
Then we all turn about 25 years old . . . and a massive shift happens. All of the sudden instead of defining ourselves by who we are GOING to be or what we are GOING to do, we define ourselves by our past. We look at our actions, failures, successes and experiences as the definition of who we are. We stop looking forward to what can be and instead look backwards to understand our limits.
If I could change anything about human nature - that might be it. That shift. Our young selves don’t even know what potential is, and certainly do nothing to stymie it . . . then we get “smart” and lose all creativity for our future. Our beliefs and thoughts are focused on what was and assuming that will always be what is. Such a shame. Such a disservice to ourselves and our future life.
But then how to change that? How do we stay future focused when we have proof from our past that we have limits, mistakes we can’t move past, and circumstances that remind us of our previous failures?
Have you ever wanted to do something - but failed? And then tried again, and failed again? And then found yourself believing that you just can’t? You even have proof that you can’t, because you have failed before. Perhaps it was trying to lose weight? Get into shape? Save money? Stop frivolous spending? Wanting to drink less? Hoping to stop yelling at your kids? Stop giving yourself away to everyone hoping to be liked? I could go on and on. Whatever your specific situation, you believe deep down (even if you don’t voice it outloud) that you just can’t because regardless of your efforts you haven’t.
Can you imagine if babies thought this way when they were learning to walk? I have no idea how many times the average baby falls down on the pursuit of learning to walk - but it has to hundreds, right? But each time they take that failure as feedback - they learn from their mistakes. Then they get up and they try again.
How can a baby - with very little life, experience have this drive, this motivation in such a painful pursuit of a skill? They are future focused. They assume that their success is inevitable. They don’t define themselves by their falls, but rather by their progress, and by their dream of one day walking. Hmmmm - seems pretty smart when you look at it from that perspective, right?
Our goal can be to appreciate how prepared we are for today because of our yesterdays. I like to call that past prepared. Everything we’ve done up to this moment has given us experiences, feedback, lessons, and built us into exactly who we are today. But we can’t stop there, we need to be constantly looking ahead and what’s next. I like to call that future focused. Tomorrow is a different day and doesn’t ever need to be compared to yesterday.
Again, how do we make this shift? Let’s compare the two first. Highlight the drawbacks and benefits may help us understand the importance of reversing the shift!
When you live Past Paralyzed . . .
Your potential is limited by what you were able to do in the past
You have a predefined identity that you can’t change because it is based on past events
You make excuses for your current behavior based on your past
You identify as a victim
You make decisions based upon your past
You use your primal brain
You believe nothing different will ever be
When you live Future Focused . . .
Your potential is limitless - you will find a way
You can define your identity however you’d like and make choices based upon that future you
You are aware of, learn from and make changes to your behavior
You are victorious in all situations in your life regardless of the outcome
You decide based on future desires/plans
You think purposefully and carefully
The future can be whatever you want to make of it
So what is the secret here? What flip do you switch to make this change? The answer to that is simple. Notice I said simple and not easy. This is not an easy switch. It will take effort, dedication, practice, and grace. You need to be purposeful about it - but it is worth it. Literally, your future depends on it.
You need to change your thoughts. Change the story you are telling yourself. Choose the thoughts and facts you focus on. Don’t allow yourself to bring the past into it without a way to move on. This will take time, practice and a lot of effort. But if you are ready to blow your own damn mind, let’s get you started.
Here are three steps you can take to start flipping this switch:
Become aware of your thoughts. I like to do a Brain Dump. Give yourself 10 minutes and write all of your thoughts down. Even if they repeat. Even if you’re embarrassed. This can be done on a particular topic, or just in general. Don’t hold back, this is just for you. Write. It. All. Down. Once you have finished, go back and just notice, without judgment, what your thoughts are focused on. Are they negative? Are they limiting? Are they encouraging? Are they purposeful? Find the trends and repetitions. Then decide which ones aren’t serving you. Which ones are keeping you in the past? Which ones are keeping you from creating a future not based on your past?
Rewrite those thoughts you found that aren’t serving you. Literally. In two columns . . . write the old thoughts and directly next to each of them write the new thought you can replace it with. Perhaps one of your thoughts was “No matter how hard I’ve tried, I can’t lose weight.” Well that’s pretty limiting. Why even try!?!? Perhaps you can change that to “I can lose this weight, I just need to try something new.” See how that opens up the possibility of you losing that weight and doesn’t take into consideration how many times you have failed in the past?
Put in the work. Every. Single. Time. Anytime you have those thoughts - no matter how many you chose to change - you force yourself to rethink it with your new thought. Over and over and over. Some people mediate to get those thoughts into their heads. Some use sticky notes on their bathroom mirror. Some repeat them to themselves multiple times a day. You need to get those thoughts into your head and accepted by your automatic brain and that TAKES WORK!!!
This is a big topic, a huge shift to make. It isn’t easy - but truly is that simple. Flipping that switch from being past defined to being past prepared and future focused. That switch is the most important one you’ll ever flip. Your future amazing self is waiting for you.
